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A Complete Guide for When to Stop Breastfeeding Babies & How to Wean

A Complete Guide for When to Stop Breastfeeding Babies & How to Wean

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When Should YouΒ Stop Breastfeeding?Β 

Β If you are typing, β€œWhenΒ toΒ stop breastfeeding?” or β€œShould I keep breastfeeding my baby?” into your search bar, chances are you’re feeling conflicted aboutΒ yourΒ decisions around breastfeeding. It is okay to struggle with breastfeeding and it is okay to stop when you need to. Women stop breastfeeding forΒ a number ofΒ reasons,Β like returning to work, latch and breast issues, mental wellness, and more. While the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for aboutΒ sixΒ months, the length of time a woman chooses to breastfeed varies greatly from none through toddler-years. No one can tell you the appropriate time to stop breastfeeding, as it is a personal choice for each mother.Β Β 

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The Pressure and Guilt of Breastfeeding

Preparing for birth, I learned about labor and delivery…Β and I learned about breastfeeding. In retrospect, I realize there were so many parts of caring for a newborn and caring for myself that were overlooked, but breastfeeding was talked about a lot. Do not be mistaken, breastfeeding hasΒ a number ofΒ benefits,Β and personally, I had an overall positive experience breastfeeding my children, but I also felt the guilt and shame from social pressure.Β Β 

Phrases like β€œbreast is best,” β€œliquid gold” and β€œbreastfeeding goals” filled my mind and made me believe that much of my worth as a new mom was wrapped up in my breastfeeding performance.Β  I remember putting off showers, errands, andΒ sleepΒ inΒ order to be readily available for breastfeeding. I was unwilling to accept help because I internalized feeding as my job. I went to numerous lactation appointments and worked through painful feeding experiences because I thought I β€œhad” to exclusively breastfeed in order to be a good mom and have a healthy baby. There was always something new to try:Β a new cream or gadget for my breast,Β and there was always a new tip from someoneΒ forΒ prolonging breastfeeding. With all of that, I felt guilty when it was not workingΒ as expected,Β andΒ IΒ reallyΒ felt the pressure to set and exceed breastfeeding goals.Β Β 

Reasons Women Stop Breastfeeding

The right time to stop breastfeeding is different for each woman. It is important to evaluateΒ your health, your baby’s healthΒ and your family circumstances.Β Β 

01. Breast/nipple pain

A woman may choose to stop breastfeeding because of breast or nipple damage that is causing her pain. This could be from difficulty with latch, tongue-tie, engorgement, thrush, orΒ evenΒ nipple shape and size. Women who want to continue breastfeeding are encouraged to see a lactation consultant inΒ theirΒ area to help assess the problem and come up with a solution to painful breastfeeding.Β Β 

02. Mental health

Women suffering from a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder may stop breastfeeding if it is causing mental stress or is not compatible with their prescribed SSRI medication (many SSRIs are shown to be breastfeedingsafe,Β but always talk with your doctor). LisaΒ Tremaye,Β RN, PMH-C,Β of The Bloom Foundation,Β tells mothers struggling with the decision,Β β€œIf it’s a choice between how you feed your baby and mama’s mental health,Β either lack of sleep,Β hormoneΒ fluctuation,Β orΒ pressure,Β mama comes first. It’s likeΒ theΒ emergencyΒ oxygenΒ on an airplaneΒ analogy. Mom first. Baby will never remember how or what she was fed,Β but mama willΒ probablyΒ remember how dark she felt trying to keep doing it.”  

03. Return to work

AlthoughΒ the majority ofΒ workplacesΒ in the USΒ are required to have adequate pumping spacesΒ for a working mother, that is not always the case. Women have shared with me that they were told to use closets, bathroomsΒ or worseΒ as they returned to the workplace. Many women also feel the pressure toΒ minimizeΒ theirΒ needΒ forΒ takingΒ adequateΒ timeΒ for pumping while working. For other women, the change in routine and setting feels like a natural transition out of breastfeedingΒ and is welcomed.Β Β 

04. Food Sensitivity

Sometimes babies show sensitivity toΒ certainΒ components in mom’s breast milk. The most common allergies,Β according to La Leche League,Β are dairy, eggs, shellfish, peanuts, tree nuts, wheatΒ and soy. In the case of allergies/sensitivity, the mom can try cutting different foods out of her diet to see if it improvesΒ herΒ baby’s breastfeeding.Β Β 

05. Supply

While there are many tips and ways to try to boost your milk supply, sometimes the body is unableΒ toΒ due toΒ issuesΒ such asΒ insufficient glandular tissue and sometimes the stress ofΒ having adequateΒ supply compromises a mother’s mental wellnessΒ which thenΒ in turnΒ reduces supply.Β Β 

06. Pregnancy

According to American Pregnancy, women canΒ still continueΒ to breastfeed when becoming pregnant again. For some women, there areΒ fewΒ changes. For other women, pregnancy can create new challenges for breastfeeding such as nausea and sore nipples.Β Β 

07. Touch out

At some point, many women want their body autonomy back.Β β€˜Touch out’ is the feeling of your body being needed over and over. For some, itΒ manifests asΒ the desire to go to run errandsΒ for longer thanΒ a 3-hour limit. For others, it’s the desire to feel intimately connected with a partner and needing body autonomyΒ in order to chooseΒ to do that.Β Β 

Making the Choice to End Breastfeeding

When deciding to stop breastfeeding, you must consider the time it will take to signal your body to stop making breast milk. If you need to stop quickly,Β due to medical or other reasons, talk with a medical provider about safe ways to dry up your milk supply such asΒ usingΒ cabbage leaves, herbs, or medication. If you would like to gradually wean, you can start with night weaning and/or cutting out feeds until your baby is fully on bottles (or solids,Β if your child is older) and your body is no longer producing milk.Β Sometimes, your baby will send you clear signals and weaning happensΒ fairly easily.Β How to stop breastfeeding should be a combination of your personal preference and safe medical advice.Β Β 

For many women, the end of breastfeeding is not only a physical change,Β but a mental and emotional change as well. It’sΒ important to make space to process theΒ shifts andΒ changes,Β andΒ give yourself room for your emotions. You may experience joy and relief. You may experience guilt and uncertainty. You may experience a mix ofΒ many emotions.Β Β 
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Personally, each time IΒ endedΒ breastfeeding, I felt both joy and guilt. Here areΒ threeΒ things that helped me:Β Β 

  1. Journal about your breastfeeding experience.Include the highs, the lows, and the growth you experienced,Β no matter how long your journey was.Β Β 
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  2. Have honest conversations with other momsΒ who can understand the emotional and mental toll you may be feeling.Β Seek outΒ support groups in your community.Β 
  3. Find a new, fun way to connect with your baby.Β This might be starting a newΒ β€œmommy and me” class together, reading a special book duringΒ theΒ times you previously breastfed, listening to your favorite music during bottle feeds, or another fun connectionΒ activityΒ of your choice.Β Β 

Breastfeeding does not define your success as a mother. When you’re ready to stop breastfeeding, celebrate what you have accomplished, and move into a new season with confidence and support.Β 

About The Author

Chelsea Skaggs

Chelsea Skaggs is a postpartum advocate and coach who is committed to helping women kick the pressure to be "Pinterest Perfect" and have real, raw conversations to acknowledge and empower the postpartum experience. She provides small group coaching, eCourses, online communities and helps other women start motherhood-centered businesses. She believes that normalizing and empowering all the changes in life after baby can change the world and leads that effort at postpartumtogether.com

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